Monday, May 3, 2010


Here I am
Pain ... too much
Waves of fear on all four side
Alone with my fear
Ashamed of being alone

Does it matter?
I am just here
A ship with no rudder
My path resulting from choices
Some mine
Some others
Some just happened
This just happened
But I question

Why me?
Neither noble
Nor evil
A middle grounder
Who gets no attention
No better no worse than him or them or her ...

What did I do wrong?
Did I open a door to a curse?
Peering back I see many such doors
My past is full of mistakes
But none led to this before

Did someone else do something?
My family?
My friends?
My enemies?
Who can I blame?
That might releave my pain.

Did you do this to me?
Are you making evil so you can teach me a heavenly lesson?
If so, no thanks. That's not the kind of heaven I want.

Why didn't you stop this?
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6,
no 7 ways this could have been different
I could be on placid seas now, if ...
Don't you have enough power to make it so?
What kind of God are you?

Why am I alone?
Where are my friends?
They look like accusers now
I wish they would just listen
Their words don't help
Judgment is in their eyes

Where are you?
Don't you see me?
Waves of heat are crushing me
All I have left is this mast


islandminister said...

Commander M. Scott Boren,

I just stumbled onto your site after seeing your small group book at a local Christian bookstore here in Sarasota, FL. There are small men's groups assembling here at a rapid pace, and we've recently banded together with others around the nation to put together a site devoted to men's discipleship. Some posts look a bit like this one, with verse ('Hard-Core' is a good example). Anyway, I just thought I'd stop by on behalf of T.O.M. ( ) and say well done.

Scott Boren said...

island minister,
I just say your comment. Thanks for your encouraging words. Blessings to you as you follow the Spirit.